Miss Manners: The wedding dinner is for couples only, but I can’t invite a dead man
DEAR MISS MANNERS My youngest son is getting married this summer His wife-to-be has a large extended family Related Articles Miss Manners Can I put a sign in my bathroom for one particular guest Miss Manners They all arrived early at the restaurant and I find it suspicious Miss Manners Did I break selected rule with my high-end party Miss Manners She took me to an expensive restaurant and committed a crime Miss Manners I gave the teen money and now I m in an awkward situation I have received an invitation to a dinner shower which across the top in big letters states Couples only I am not in a couple and haven t been for chosen time I am not dating anyone and my ex-husband is dead so I can t ask him I am not sure what the correct way is to RSVP I think this might be the first of similar invites that will come this way GENTLE READER The wording is unfortunate but Miss Manners is guessing that it is not intended to say that you can t come to dinner unless you are married Rather it is possibly to suggest that single people should not bring what is also unfortunately known as a plus-one At least let us hope so Check with your son If they really mean that they are running a Noah s Ark operation he might want to reconsider hopping aboard DEAR MISS MANNERS We ve been invited to a combination graduate Father s Day gathering at an in-law s house The hosts suggested it in order to honor all the fathers in the family as well as the three graduates my husband from grad school our son from high school and the hosts daughter from high school Our in-laws have offered to provide all the food and beverages With one week to go we ve been informed that the hosts will show a video of their daughter s life through high school The daughter is intelligent athletic and accomplished head of her school s newspaper etc Our son has a learning disorder and worked very hard including taking summer school and repeating chosen classes in order to pass our state s high school exit exam and graduate His accomplishments are more personal than his cousin s which are masses My brother-in-law has invited us to put a video together for our son and bring it to share We don t know how and it s awfully short notice for us who are technologically challenged BIL works in the computer industry What are our polite options Is there a kind way to avoid watching the cousin s video or must guests indulge their host s every whim Also how do we protect our children from what is bound to encourage uneven comparisons in this competitive family Should we even worry about that GENTLE READER Miss Manners does not necessarily believe that family competitions should be encouraged But here is how to win this one Do not make a film After sitting through the celebration of the hosts daughter the rest of the family will be only too grateful not to have to watch another Related Articles Asking Eric My son begged us not to bring up our grievance to his touchy in-laws Dear Abby They say I ruined their mother s funeral video Asking Eric Should I give up my girlfriend for a coworker I might not even like Harriette Cole Seeing my friend at her new job made me feel bad Miss Manners Can I put a sign in my bathroom for one particular guest Just stand up and say Congratulations Olivia That s wonderful We re equally proud of Liam s achievements but we re not filmmakers so I m afraid you ll just have to take our word for it You and Liam will likely get an ovation DEAR MISS MANNERS Can should one wish a Roman Catholic priest a happy Father s Day GENTLE READER If you are sure that he has a sense of humor Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website www missmanners com to her email gentlereader missmanners com or through postal mail to Miss Manners Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO
