Harriette Cole: How can I get my roommate to turn on the air conditioning?

DEAR HARRIETTE I m having a lot of issues with my roommate and largest part of them seem to stem from how cheap she is Related Articles Harriette Cole It s not that I m stingy I just don t have the money to tip Harriette Cole All my boyfriends have the same bad trait and I m tired of it Harriette Cole Should I tell this sneaky woman she s never getting her job back Harriette Cole I should never have agreed to the father-son blind date Harriette Cole She took my car and went to brunch Two months later I got a huge bill We re constantly clashing over shared responsibilities and household expenses For example she never wants to take her turn when it comes to buying essential shared items like dish soap paper towels or trash bags I feel like I m invariably the one footing the bill for these things and it s starting to build resentment On top of that she s extremely controlling when it comes to the thermostat She refuses to turn on the heat in the winter or the air conditioning in the summer to save money on utilities even when it s uncomfortably cold or hot I understand wanting to be cost-conscious but I also think it s unreasonable to sacrifice basic comfort in a shared living space I ve tried to bring up these things with her but the conversations either go nowhere or turn into passive-aggressive arguments I don t want to live in a constant state of tension but I also don t want to keep enabling her behavior How do I set boundaries with her Cheap Roommate DEAR CHEAP ROOMMATE You may need to resort to rationing your household items and locking them away when you aren t using them Put your foot down regarding the heat and air even if you have to pay the difference That may need to be a point of negotiation Clearly she cannot afford to live there Your next step requirements to be either to find a new place or a new roommate DEAR HARRIETTE Now that my siblings and I are orphans both of our parents have died we have only one another left This is proving to be challenging All of our old childhood behaviors are coming back and I feel stuck in the past My older sister is really pushing my buttons and I am finding it complex to interact well with her without feeling constantly dissed or overly defensive How can I get to an emotionally stable place with her Am I delusional in thinking I can decisively get past this when I never could when our parents were living Tired of Sibling Rivalry DEAR TIRED OF SIBLING RIVALRY Before being in your sister s company center yourself Related Articles Dear Abby They ask about the ring my husband gave me and I don t know what to say Asking Eric When she learned of our baby s birth she was furious Harriette Cole It s not that I m stingy I just don t have the money to tip Miss Manners The marriage proposal you saw on TikTok was bogus Dear Abby The graduate s guest list threatens to create unwanted drama Do a mini meditation where you focus on your own strength and presence Remind yourself that you have control over yourself When she says or does things that hit a nerve do your best to ignore her When that doesn t work ask her to stop and walk away if you can If she remains relentless stop putting yourself in situations where you must be around her It may be sad but you do not have to put up with anyone bullying you including your sister If you want to let her know that this is a conscious decision on your part tell her you have had enough If she wants a relationship with you it must come with respect Otherwise enjoy your life Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions to askharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO